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September 28, 2009


I am sorry. Such a sad sad sad memory. It just sucks.


I think you are brave for daring to say what you feel. Our feelings can't be what other people expect from us, they are what they are.

What comes to my mind when I read your post is that you have been lucky. I know it perhaps sounds inconsidered to say this, that is not my intention...Lucky because you had such an amazing relationship with your father. Even if you don't have him anymore you still have a beautiful memory of him and how you were together. Of course you will miss him, that's part of the package. You make me smile when you say "If he was reading this, he would be rolling his eyes now, saying "drama!". He is still with you. Make him smile.

You are being honest and that is never a bad thing! I too worry about the future loss of my parents (I am single and feel that would be the hardest be alone and lonely). Don't apologise for your feelings and thank you for sharing.

I still grieve my dad and he died almost 35 years ago. There are still times that I wish he could see my kids, my grandkids, attend weddings, be there at birthday parties. It hurts less as the years go by, but it never completely goes away. My Mom is remarried now and my Dad is wonderful, but now she is slowly leaving us with dementia. It's even sadder to have her leave a bit at a time.

Keep talking about your dad and mom....the stories will get easier as time goes by....

I'm glad you wrote this. I don't have one word to say that will make a difference but it made a difference to me to read it. I know from reading your blog all this time that this hurts you so very badly and I have always admired that you've shared that hurt in an honest way to heal yourself and help heal others. Keep sharing - if you want, tell us more stories. I agree with Nancy that it is the best way to heal and celebrate.

I will always send healing peaceful thoughts your way. Thank you.

I know what you mean when you say,'I lost the feeling of security most people have'. Since my Gramma is gone and she did raise me, I feel a bit orphaned.

I hate days like these. Time does not make it better, it just makes a scab on the hurt and every so often the scab tears off and it is fresh again. I'll be thinking of you today.

I am so sorry...
...Blessings and Peace be with you...

Hug, hugs, hugs. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I am so sorry.

Thank you for sharing it. I don't know what it's like to lose a parent, although I know it will happen enventually. And I also have issues with both of my parents. But everyone has a different relationship with thier parents, and it doesn't change the fact that there is a big empty space there when they are gone. I'm sorry for that space. And I hope you keep figuring out how to feel better and go forward with it.

I understand, only it was my daughter and it was ten years ago. The waves of grief always crash with unbelievable force... but come less frequently with time.

Nothing helpful or useful to add. I am sorry for the grief with which you are dealing and I hope, as others have said, it becomes more bearable with time.

Thanks for your honesty. Your heart hurts. Sometimes it helps to share.

Thank you for sharing Anne of Green Jello. I just recently starting reading your blog (I liked your name- :) ) and I appreciate your honesty too. I will hug my dad and mom a little tighter the next time I see them.

I hurt for you. :( I haven't experienced those things yet, but I completely know what you mean about not having the sense of security a lot of people have. That in itself is rough.

*HUGE virtual hugs*

Anne, I wish we were closer geographically, so I could have you over today. I know this is hard for you to talk about. I am sorry you were dealt such a horrible experience with your parents' early and close deaths. I wish I could say something to make it a little better.

my mom has been gone for ten years and still i feel like this vacuum is here, there, everywhere. it sucks. (eh, sorry about the pun) but i often stop and think, eegads but this sucks. i hate this feeling like "what's the point?" my best friend, the one who knew me and would be so proud isn't here and it doesn't matter. see? suckity sucks.

but yeah, i'm happy cheery for the most part, but there is a deep sense of doom nestled in my brain. sigh.

It's a horrible thing to lose people you love so much. I appreciate your honesty. I feel like the expectation in America is that a person will swiftly "move on" after any kind of loss. It's ridiculous and makes me so angry. People should be able to grieve as long as they need to.

I am so sorry for your pain. I think you expressed it beautifully and I'm really glad that you felt you could share it with us. Please let me know if there's anything I could send you from New York which might give you a smile for a moment or two!

I completely relate. I have told you about the loss of my mom and dad and I absolutely feel so many of the same things...loss of security, a sense of place, and resentment toward other families including my in-laws sometimes. There are no answers. There are no words or ways to deal with it that make it any better. It just is. That really sucks and so the only thing you can do is reach out to those who love you, hold on to the great memories you have and just keep breathing. (Ingrid Michaelson has a song called "keep breathing" and it totally fits the feeling we are talking about here.)
I don't pretend to know what happens when we die. I am not a religious person but I do believe in a higher power and I do believe that we go on...somewhere else. I like to picture my parents and grandparents all around a table, playing cards, eating and drinking and laughing. I don't care if this sounds crazy or corny, but right now I am sending out a request to my parents to invite your folks to the party. :) I know we've never met in real life but you are my friend Anne and I love you. (((Huge Hugs)))

So sorry for the lost of your parents. There isn't a day that goes by
that I don't think of my dad who ilost overseven years ago. I too misshim so much that it hurts like that day we lost him. But I
know he is with me always and that ISA comfort. Thank you for the opportunity to share

i've thought about this entry a lot over the past couple days. i'm sorry it's taken me this long to comment. the thing that keeps coming back to me is how unique grief is, how despite its definition, it's absolutely different for every one. and how there is absolutely no two similar paths through it. i've had my losses that i still don't know how to talk about and i admire that you could string so many good words together about your experiences. the thing that changed me the most is now when people say "everything is ok" instead of wide-eyed believing, i have to close them and choke back an accusing "bullsh." i hate that i lost that innocence. but i like that, like you said, i have gained compassion. i'm really glad you shared this. i know i can't say anything comforting, but it has somehow comforted ME reading this entry. thanks.

It hurts. I am a 50 year old orphan. I am lost. I feel like I am screaming inside "Where is my mom?" I know how you feel. Restless, anxious, lost and just so very sad. Daddy died of cancer 6 years ago, Mom 1.5 years. I took care of my Mom the last two months and watched her slip away. I keep waiting for it to get better. Thanks for sharing. I feel like you said so many things I feel. You get it. The only thing that is okay with all of this is that the pain is gone. Also, before Mom died I would see my Dad in my dreams all of the time. Since Mom joined him, I have not seen him once. I guess that gives me peace. Hang in there, and thank you.

You are so powerful to write and share this. I do not know what you are feeling but I feel for you and hope that you continue to find some help from therapy and your support group. No helpful words just a hug from far away.

(((hugs))) I wanted to cry reading this post. No one understands unless they've been thru it. I've not lost a parent yet, but I've experience a different kind of grief that took me months (into the 2nd year now) to get over. It gets easier to go on. You will never "get over it"....but you will survive.

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